The Road So Far

I started the process of writing Shadow Fox back in November. I am currently elbows deep in the second draft. I am focusing this draft on making the story be as best as it can and I am not worrying about the spelling and grammar until the next draft. I’ve already cut some scenes that were not working and I have plans for more to add.

When I think back on my life there was one thing that I was always chasing and that was to be a writer. I think I wanted it because I wanted to tell the stories that were playing out in my imagination. I struggled with learning to spell as a child which eventually led the to false internal narrative that I was a terrible writer. It didn’t help that I had friends who would make fun of my spelling and were not supportive of me. Or they would say things like, “Your writing makes me feel uncomfortable.” Like that was my problem? I am not responsible for how another human feels – they are and need to take ownership of that.

I didn’t feel free to write for a long long time. Anytime that I would someone would come along and disrupt me and I would let them. It wasn’t until I felt stuck in my job that the desire to write became overwhelming. I’ve dealt with a lot of criticism in my life from work and friends and I am at the point where I no longer have any fucks to give about how someone else likes what I write. I have gone so far as to tell someone who is trying to be helpful to mind their own business and stop giving me unsolicited advice or feedback. If I don’t ask you, I don’t want your opinion because your opinion doesn’t matter to me.

Do I suffer from Imposter Syndrome? No, not at all. I am a writer because I write for others to read. Am I published author? No, not yet but I will be at the end of this project one way or another. When I see other writer say they suffer from Imposter Syndrome it confuses me. I know they are writers and I don’t care if they write fanfiction for a niche audience or novels ready for publishing – if you write with the purpose of someone else reading it then you are a writer to me.

The point of this ramble is to hopefully let you know that you are the one who gives yourself permission to do something – to create something. Fuck everyone else and just create!